1. With the current market turmoil, the easiest way to make a small fortune is to start with a large one.
2. The difference between an investment banker and the large pizza is that large pizza can still feed a family of four.
3. I went to ATM this morning and it said "insufficient founds". I'm still wondering it meant the bank or me.
4. Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating: "... and in conclusion, gentleman, credit crunch or no credit crunch, i cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!"
5. The difference between investment banker and pigeons is that pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's.
6. Quote of the day: "this is worse than divorce - i had lost half of my net worth and i still have a wife!"
7. There is a "buy one, get one free" offer - on banks.
8. I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks ago, and it turnes out i'm now the country's third biggest lender.
9. George Bush on credit crunch: "It's my favourite candy bar."
10. Optimism: An investment banker ironing five shirts on Sunday evening.